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Why You're Not Having Sex & How to Rekindle


You would be surprised to learn just how many couples are not sexually active anymore…here’s why.

Many people have happy fulfilling healthy romantic relationships without having sex.

This is great when negotiated and agreed upon by both parties.

However, within my practice I am seeing more couples who are not negotiating or discussing that sex is off the table.

It shows itself in a slow and ‘drip drip’ effect that starts with a lack of engagement then lack of communication followed by rejection and stonewalling (shutting down to avoid conflict).

A lack of sex does not mean there is a lack of love, but if this is something that you believe is still wanted and desired then we have a problem…

How to get your sex life back online...

Getting your sex life back on track can feel alien and awkward; it is a vital aspect of a romantic relationship.

It ignites the spark in a relationship, keeping it healthy and fresh with the good chemicals, and if it's good for you why do we STOP? Why is it not consistent?

In the beginning of the relationship, the partners can't keep their hands off each other, however after the ‘loved up stage’ the relationship settles and forms into a more manageable sexual ‘norm’ this spark does diminish and the motivation to bother to get together disappears. It happens to the best of couples. So, if a lack of sexual desire is bothering your relationship with your partner.

Here's how you can get your sex life back on track.

Three Ways...


Talk and re-talk.

This subject feels awkward but the only way for change to take place is to TALK when things are not going well in bed because if both partners are not acknowledging this, then frustration and resentment builds.

This can make things worse and the sexual frustration can expand so sit down and discuss what would work for you both, what do you want/ don’t want and practice slowly and sensitively to get things going again.


When the relationship is new, it’s not an effort and things flow with excitement, everything looks and feels great.

But after the ‘loved up stage’, that period when all is rosy, the new things become the 'usual' and the excitement starts to fade away.

This is when experimenting becomes important.

Bring up the element of surprise and novelty in your relationship. Do new things, add spice and laughter blind folds and food, feathers and whipped cream.

You may want to try new positions, do it in new settings, introduce some new foreplay and intercourse methods to spark up your intimate life back again.

The Power of Foreplay

Foreplay is necessary and leads to everything and nothing - foreplay can be just foreplay, intense and provocative, teasing and tantalizing. Then don’t have sex, meet the next night, add novelty and spontaneity, foreplay can get the body ready for action, lubricated enough, fully aroused.

Foreplay is underrated. Indulge in some cuddling, tease your partner and let them tease you, kiss more often, set the temperature high and humid before actually going for the intercourse. This will help you keep your intimate encounters more hot, sexy and satisfying, leaving you wanting more…..

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