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3 Things that will lead you to a longer dry spell

Updated: Jul 29, 2023

The wonderful thing about intimacy is the openness and energy that it brings.

However sometimes in your relationship it will be hard to receive physical touch and this could be one or many blocks that have gotten in the way.

Let’s explore the three ways that physical intimacy can become unblocked in a relationship so that you can start to consider and navigate your way back to each other.

1. The invisible expectation - a kiss is just a kiss!

The feeling of pressure to have penetrative sex is a real blocker, your partner starts to play with your hand, kisses your hand and you think ‘oh here we go…that means they want sex.’

It is important to remember that there are no strings attached to any physical intimacy. If you are thinking this, I ask you to think about where this message is coming from? Is this message an internal expectation that you are putting on the relationship or your experience that this is all or nothing?

Changing the dynamic of the physical touch for you both to be able to communicate your wants and desires. Being curious about the touch and not immediately shutting it down.

2. Emotional needs not being met

Physical touch is not just for the bedroom, it is a dance that needs to be interactive and playful throughout the day, week and month so that the connection stays online.

It is not only important but pretty essential that you are receiving your needs on the emotional side of the relationship. As women we want to feel safe enough through an emotional connection to open up our bodies. When the emotional bond is lacking, then the physical body will not engage. Is love being shown and are we capable of receiving it. Ask yourself what is my fear about letting love in.

3. Internal blocks. Lack of self esteem

To really appreciate your partner and the choice they made, ‘choosing YOU’ the block might be coming from you.

Low desire for self, low self esteem, low body confidence. When you provide love to yourself you can be more expressive with your partner. How can we receive from our partners when we don’t even receive from ourselves?

These 3 blocks can be looked at within therapy and help navigate your way through this. Remember blocks include not having emotional connection, this becomes more important as the relationship progresses, looking at resentments and minimising them together nurturing a giving to give relationship so that both are coming to table.

What’s on your table? What do you bring?

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