You know the scene. It’s 9.45pm. The children are finally asleep. The dishwasher is still waiting to be emptied. The washing machine has just finished. Someone forgot to buy milk. The dog needs letting out. You eventually crawl into bed. Your partner rolls over and puts their hand on your leg. And all you can think is: “Absolutely not.” If this sounds familiar, welcome to long-term relationships. Nobody talks enough about the reality of modern love. Relationships don’t usually struggle...

When people talk about relationships, they often focus on finding “the one”. The perfect match. The soulmate. The person who makes their heart race and their life feel complete. But after years of working with couples, I’ve come to believe that the success of a relationship isn’t determined by whether you’ve found “the one”. It’s determined by something far more practical and far more powerful: Will you be there for me when I need you? This question sits at the heart of emotional security. It...

There is a quiet myth that sits underneath many long term relationships.
That love, once established, will carry itself. It does not. Love is not something you arrive at and then maintain by default. It is something you actively participate in, every day, in small and often unremarkable ways. The couples who stay connected are not the ones who avoid difficulty. They are the ones who understand that the relationship needs tending, attention, and repair. I often say in my work that the...