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Boost Your Self-Esteem and Confidence: The Key to a Fulfilling (Sex) Life

Sexy lady in lingerie drinking coffee

Everything starts with your mindset whether it's work, family, intimate relationships, or self-improvement.

Your mindset shapes how you perceive yourself and the world around you, laying the foundation for your success and happiness.

A positive mindset can propel you to success, making you confident and capable of living a vibrant life. Conversely, a negative mindset can hinder your progress and make you unhappy.

The good news? You can change your mindset.

It's your choice.


Understanding the Power of Self-Talk

Have you ever thought, ‘I’m not good enough,’ or ‘I will never be able to do this?’ 

These kinds of thoughts can keep self-esteem low and make us feel unmotivated, defeated, and stressed. 

While it's normal to have these thoughts occasionally, persistent negative thinking can prevent us from creating the life we desire.


Building Self-Esteem and Confidence

Self-esteem and confidence are crucial for success. Successful people often think, ‘I can accomplish anything’ or ‘I love a challenge.’

Developing a positive mindset, practicing gratitude, and setting goals can significantly improve your life, relationships, and personal achievements.


Mindset Self-Assessment

Let's evaluate your current mindset with a simple scale. Rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 5 for each of the following statements:

  1. I generally say positive things about myself.

  2. I find it hard to see the positive in most situations.

  3. I think my current lifestyle limits my success.

  4. There's nothing exciting to look forward to in the future.

  5. I believe I can't change my intelligence.


  • 5-10: You have a fairly positive mindset.

  • 11-20: Your thoughts might be holding you back.

  • 21-25: Negative thoughts are significantly affecting your life.


Transforming Negative Thoughts

We all experience negative thoughts, but it's crucial to recognise and challenge them. Instead of letting these thoughts dictate your actions, question their validity.

Are they true, or just self-imposed limitations?


The Role of Self-Esteem in Relationships and Libido

Self-esteem and confidence greatly influence our relationships and sexual well-being. Confidence is not something you get; it's something you become. By rewiring your brain with positive thoughts and experiences, you can live the life you want, achieving your dreams, building fulfilling relationships, and becoming a stronger, healthier version of yourself.

Low self-esteem can negatively impact your libido and sexual satisfaction. If you doubt your worth or attractiveness, it can be challenging to fully engage in intimate moments. 

Building self-esteem helps you feel more secure, enhancing both emotional and physical intimacy.


The Power of Neural Pathways

The human brain has an amazing ability to change by forming new connections between cells. Each time you try something new, it might be challenging, but repeated effort builds new neural pathways, making future attempts easier.

Decide which bridges to build and which to tear down, guiding your personal growth.


The Impact of Self-Talk

Your self-talk heavily influences your mindset. When was the last time you made a negative comment about yourself? Statements like ‘I can be so stupid sometimes’ undermine your self-esteem.

Positive self-talk, on the other hand, boosts confidence and helps you succeed.


Practical Tips for Building Self-Esteem

  1. Start with Affirmations: Begin each day with positive affirmations. Speak in the present tense and keep it simple and authentic.

  2. Journal Regularly: Write down your thoughts and feelings to understand and challenge negative patterns.

  3. Replace Negative Thoughts: When a negative thought arises, say ‘cancel, cancel, cancel’ to disrupt the pattern and shift to positive thinking. Trust me it works.


Surround Yourself with Positivity

Your beliefs are often shaped by the people and media around you. Identify your core values - integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty, kindness and focus on them. Notice how people around you influence your thoughts and choose to surround yourself with positivity.

A great way to start identifying your values is by purchasing this card deck called 'The Live Your Values Deck: Sort Out, Honour, and Practice What Matters Most to You.' I was recommended these by a wonderful therapist, Holly Purslow, who uses them with her clients.


Embrace Your Uniqueness

Explore your passions and interests without worrying about judgment. Focus on your goals and dreams, and remember that you are unique with many wonderful qualities waiting to be discovered.


So Remember…

By cultivating a positive mindset and challenging negative thoughts, you can boost your self-esteem and confidence. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, and unlock your full potential.

The life you want is within reach you just need to believe in yourself.

You can discover more about this topic on the free workshop I ran called REVITALISE YOU LIBIDO: Women's Guide to Getting Their Sexy Back

Love Lottie x

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