My FREE live workshop in August was about the lack of sex within a relationship and reasons why couples aren't having sex.
In this article I will summarise the common reasons why couples aren't having sex and also some questions that might encourage communication and for couples to talk to each other about the lack of sex in the relationship.
Questions to ask that will encourage connection:
Communication is the main way to enhance your relationship, from day to day practicalities and bedroom romps. If you are experiencing a lack of sex in your relationship, here are some questions that will provoke conversations that need to be had.
Remember: conflict is growth and don't be afraid to heave the hard conversations.
When did sex start feeling more like an obligation than a source of intimacy? 
This question encourages reflection on when the shift occurred, helping to identify potential triggers.
What underlying feelings or concerns might be leading us to believe that sex is less important in our relationship?

This prompts them to explore deeper emotional or psychological factors that might be affecting their sexual connection.
Are there unspoken needs or unresolved issues that could be impacting our desire to be intimate?

This question encourages open communication about unmet needs or lingering conflicts that may be affecting their sex life.
How do we prioritize other aspects of our lives over nurturing physical intimacy, and what might this say about our relationship?

This invites reflection on how they allocate their time and energy, potentially at the expense of their connection.
What fears or anxieties are we holding onto that could be creating distance between us in the bedroom?

This question helps to uncover any underlying insecurities or fears that might be contributing to the lack of sexual intimacy.
Couples need to talk about intimacy and sex to be able to build their empire together. Stop believing that everything will just be ok because it won’t.
Once the ‘loved up stage’ at the beginning of the relationship settles, this forms into a more manageable sexual ‘norm’ and the motivation to have sex disappears. It happens to the best of couples. So, we need to find a space for connection on a physical level that forms part of the deeper connection that you to share.
Common reasons why couples aren't having sex:
Problems with connecting
Not having sex you want
Exploration / kinky difference
Porn
Lack of communication
Trust issues
Emotional unavailable
Past traumas
Insecurity and low self esteem
Lack of time together
Unresolved conflicts
Resentment
Illness
Lack of physical attraction
Poor body image, weight gain
Abuse
Substances
Lack of respect
Technology addiction
Jealously / Fighting for attention
Fear of vulnerability
Poor work vs life balance
Dysfunctions
Financial stress
Unmet emotional needs
Having children
If you are struggling with sexual connection please read my article Why You're Not Having Sex and How to Rekindle It
Lottie x
Please head on over to my YouTube channel to listen to the previous episode on Sex, Intimacy and Relationships, which are held on the last Tuesday of every month.
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